Don't you love it when

...your best friends read your blog, and actually send the chocolate covered espresso beans you were pleading for?

You guys are the best. See you on the other side!

Much sherbet love,

NB

On Fed Tax, at 3am

Guys:

In perusing my Fed Tax (oh, hello, Merlot, my old friend and study buddy): I saw the sign. And it opened up my eyes--I saw the sign! No one's gonna drag you up, to get into the light where you belong (but where do you belong?).

I am slowly losing my mind. More iTunes. It's all coming together now. I am unstoppable!

Kisses,

NB

It can smell fear

The take-home Fed Courts exam is getting emailed out today. Everyone who's taken this class knows that this thing will be an unholy nightmare. I'm not typically one for test anxiety, but knowing it's out there, on the internet--lurking--is a little horrifying. It's like being stalked by a predator you know is smarter than you.

What I'm trying to say is: Fed Courts is totally going to eat my liver.
Gross.

Law School Roundup #222

Law School Roundup #222 is up at Beyond the Underground.
Check back here next week for #223!

Throw another dime in the jukebox, baby.

In an act of unadulterated But I'm a 3L-itis, I got 20% of the way through my tax outline, roasted some potatoes, opened a bottle of Teatown 2005 Merlot (vineyard relevance = minimal, except to say: Seriously, my wine-drinking, crossword-doing buddy, I am still reaping the benefits of your lovely trunk. THANK YOU.), and put Pandora on.

It is impossibly difficult to do Serious Work when the music is on and I'm grooving in my chair. I should be panicking, but I just don't have the heart for it.

Also, in an era of incessant cab drinking, I've missed Merlot. Hello, old friend.

Le sigh. Being a student is awesome. Even when its, you know, sleepless.

Ok, but seriously.

I am not allowed to be on Petfinder again until I have a future plan that doesn't involve sleeping on my parents couch.

Please Send Chocolate Espresso Beans

As previously previewed in yesterday's forlorn "oh please let me still be a nerd" posting, I have an epic amount of work to do. I have no idea what crazy place I got myself into this semester, but it can only be interpreted as a Very Bad Choice.

Non-law students, listen carefully: This is a dangerous time for you. The law student you know and (usually) love is malnourished, grouchy, and overworked. Tread with caution, and, for all of our sakes, please maintain your sense of humor. There will be a time in the not to distant future that you can mock us all about the time we cried because you accidentally brought home decaf.

1Ls & 2Ls: You may, as I was, be overcome by nostalgia in your final semester of law school. This may cause you to, say, enroll in what can only be classified as "a crazy person amount" of units. Please fight this urge. Your non-law student cohort (see above) will thank you for it later.

Without further ado....This is the To Do List, Spring 2010 Version (Subtitle: Seriously, They're Lying About 3L Being Easy, Those Rat Bastards)
1. 35 pages on linguistic ambiguity and the interpretation-construction distinction: DONE. Ninja kick! I win!
2. 40 pages on RICO & white collar crime: Due in 24 hours. Unspeakably awful.
3. 45 pages and counting on cell phone data tracking: Due: Last Semester. Current Status: Still writing. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me. This is the paper of which we do not speak.
4. 1 Fed Tax final: 4 units of "Please make it stop," to be unleashed next Friday. No, TurboTax is not permitted. I checked.
5. 1 Fed Courts final: Take home. If this does not strike fear into your heart, you clearly have never taken a Fed Courts class.
6. 1 Mergers & Acquisitions final: Which would go more smoothly if I could fight the rising sense of panic. Why I am taking M&A? No one is merging. Or acquiring. Except me. I am merging right into my office chair, and I am acquiring a migraine. Blurg.
7. 1 Bankruptcy final: Ugggggh.
8. Beat authors into submission/send out issue 2 of Journal: British authors are assholes. You heard it here first. 90% done. 10% crazy.
9. Issue 3 of Journal of Fun & Wonderment: Re-read. Send far, far away to the printers. So close.

Sometimes, it just helps to air the "life is so hard for me" laundry list, no?
Done on May 4th. Please send coffee/margaritas.

The Ivory Tower Has a Fire Escape?

3Ls: Is graduating overwhelming and sad to you, too?

I know I'm about to get pilloried for saying this, but I'm afraid, and nostalgic, and frankly, panicked. It's not about the work.* Instead, it's about that fear of mediocrity that never really left, from the first time I picked up a pencil and started sketching out logic games. It's about the fact that, after 20-some years of school, broken up by what can only be considered "fake jobs," the real world is bearing down hard and fast.

In law school, I learned to think and challenge myself in ways I didn't know I was capable of. I watched my writing develop (though not, it may be said, my blogging). For the first time, after years of athletics and overcommitments and a serious case of being an idiot 18 year old, I got in over my head in all the ambiguous mess of language and theory and structure and policy and stuff that makes up the law. I got up in the morning, plunked myself down at my computer, and pounded away at my keyboard, sometimes for upwards of 14 hours a day. I've had the luxury of sitting in classes like Fed Courts, pushed by my classmates and encouraged by someone brilliant, just so that I can spend an afternoon shooting the shit about Pullman Abstention. Really.

And I know that saying things like that, I sound like an insufferable gunner. But I'm a little afraid. Truth be told, I'm only 60% good at law school--but I'm happy here.

What if the world outside these walls isn't all its cracked up to be? What if, rather than marching confidently into whatever the future holds, I start to lose my grip on the important things? It's not mortgages and retirement plans and health insurance and aging that really frightens me. It's the fact that, when I am sitting in Fed Courts, I feel like I belong. It's the fear that when I walk out of those doors, diploma in hand and loan payments lurking over my shoulder, I'll somehow lose sight of the things that I am so proud of now. I know it won't happen right away--but I am afraid that, as time passes, I'll lose track of the intellectual in my efforts to take care of the mundane. I don't want to be mediocre. I don't want to wake up at 40 and discover that all of the academic aspirations that were floating around my addled brain at 26 got pushed aside in an effort to make partner, to be the good employee, to win the case.

After 26 years of considering myself "a good writer," I've learned, in the last six months, that it might actually be in my capacity to develop a compelling piece of legal scholarship. The change not one I can take credit for--I've been goaded along by my mentor every step of the way, to the point where now, I fear she may have a dartboard with my face on it. Still, realizing that I can write something worth reading (besides this small blog) has been a mind-altering experience for me.

It may sound trite, but what I really fear is losing my intellectual life. The practice of being an attorney is not easy, but it is a different kind of challenge than the life than that of a student. I will not have professors like my mentor, pushing me to ask difficult questions, puzzle out challenging legal difficulties, and sit down, shut up, and write, goddammit. I'm not confident that I have the intellectual steel to keep that sort of development up, without a community of people nearby to support and push me. Candidly, I'm not confident that I'm clever enough to ask those smart questions without a professor around to push and guide me.

Tomorrow morning, with a few hours sleep and a few more pages under my belt, this may not seem like the crisis that it appears to be tonight. Tonight, though, I'm feeling small.

Le sigh. New beginnings are rough, guys.



* Holy shit guys, I can not, at this time, come out from the wonderful world of coconuts and denial to tell you about the work that I have to do. I know. Preaching to the choir. But still: 3L was advertised as easy. I would like my money back, please.

Law School Roundup #221

Welcome to Law School Roundup #221.

Without further ado:

And also: On poodles, and blogging (oh hay, its kk)

31 Flavors: What kind of law blogger are you? (Law Actually)

Volumes: Seriously, people. All we do is write. (Virgin in the Volcano)

Hell: Law school nemesis (My Legal Fiction)

...is other people: an open letter to customers (The Corner in the Middle)

No Pressure: Listserv guilt (That's Relevant)

Zombie Law: An improvement on Corporations ((In)Sanity Souffle)

Look for next week's roundup at the Legal Underground, and then back here again in 2 weeks. If you want to be added to the blog roll, but don't see yourself up there shoot me an email and we'll get you on the wall of dis-honor. Or email me anyway. Even if you're bored in class. Especially if you're just hanging in there. I love emails.

Kisses!

NB

Ready? Go.

I am never leaving the Journal office. Ever. UGH.

Also, if you want a shot at extra points in Fantasy ANTM, post/email me your guesses for who's going home and who's getting called first by 8pm EST.

There will be no recap this week, I have to write 75 pages by Tuesday afternoon. Current count? 4.

Law school is ridiculous.

Law School Roundup #220

Law School Roundup #220 is up at Beyond the Underground.
Check back here next week for #221!

This just in.

A quick gmail search has revealed: I use the word "rad" an alarming amount in my email correspondence.

Ok, then.

Also rad:
Darwin
FMF
Seeing my college buddy on Sunday
Red wine

Squee!

Prof. Big Deal Crim from 1L year called me his friend today.

GUYS. I HAVE TOTALLY ARRIVED.



Le sigh. I have such a professorial crush on that mean old man.

I Watch Top Model (So you don't have to)...Bonus Round

Dudes. And dudettes. I love this show so freakin' much.
A brief recap so that I can get us back in line for Fantasy ANTM:*

Week 2:
Toccara, one of the six successful ANTM alumni, takes the girls on a party bus for model trivia. If you have watched more than 2 seasons of Top Model, you would totally kick ass at this game. Shockingly, no one gets punched. The Blue Team (Alexandra, Angelea, Jessica, Krista and Simone) win a go-see at Bluefly. There, the Bluefly reps think that Jessica needs a sandwich (amen) and award Simone the challenge prize.

Sidebar: I have a problem with the fact that we have for some reason invited Bianca/"Imma Cut You, Bitch" and Laura/"I Castrated a Bull, Y'all!" to give commentary on this show. You know who would give great commentary? This girl (Three weeks late, but whatever). KK. Roommate. Clinton Kelly. Not Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Oh-just-forget-about-the-batshit-crazy-incident.

The girls take pictures as dancers. It's a hot mess, but I don't have time to revisit that tonight.

At judging, Tyra tells Alasia that her picture is as good as her outfit is bad. Which is pretty freaking extreme, because she's shown up in what could be generously called a metallic jumpsuit (as opposed to abhorrent shiny crime against humanity). Ren and Brenda are in the bottom two. Ren, as per usual, looks high. Ren has been questioning her own desire to be here all week, so she goes home. Mercifully, she does not cry.

Week 3:
Brenda gets a makeover early this episode to make her 'edgier.' Again, she cries--this time though, it's probably fair, since they've gone and given her a fauxhawk. The girls gather in a circle like vultures and smirk.

This episode is the token 'acting' show. When the girls come into their teaching session, Angelea calls Ms. J her "boo." Apparently the producers are trying to make her look less like a crazed psychokiller. No one's buying it. Brenda has to participate in an improv session where she must change a tire on a tractor while acting 'shocked.' The teacher thinks that she looks "like she was making cotton candy...sideways."

The girls go to Times Square with that one chick from Heroes (the new face of Covergirl...what happened to last season's winner, Nicole?). Simone explains to us how modeling is much different than her life in academia, as a college sophomore, effectively dispelling my original affection for her. Tatiana throws her hair around, and predictably, is rewarded for 'taking risks.' Even though she has weird teeth.

Anslee and Alasia get into an epic screaming fit about who is a real woman because Anslee starts scolding her about food. The girls get a Tyra Mail warning them about the no-neck monster. Jessica, naturally, assumes snakes. It's vampires. Mr. J arrives as 'head vampire,' fresh from his late-night foray into the wardrobe locker for the Matrix. At the news that they will all be wearing whiteout lens, Krista gives Mr. J the most pricelessly awesome look I have ever seen: a combination of "bitch, please" and "awww hellll no."

The photoshoot is in a bathtub full of fake blood. Because, you know, vampires bathe in blood. Right? The girls pose to varying degrees of effect. Angelea is told to pretend that the male model is her lover, so she grabs him by the crotch. Subtle. Brenda cries about her lens, then tells us she is in love with the model (it's been a rough day for him). Tatiana manages to make the whole thing look like a hospital delivery room, and I am required to take a very serious drink to make it all go away.

At judging, Anslee makes excuses. This goes over like a ton of bricks. When she's called on this, however, she demonstrates that she actually has watched this show before, and takes responsibility. Good call for survival, kiddo. Alasia is called first, virtually guaranteeing that someone will smack her in the next two episodes. Anslee and Simone are the bottom two, and Simone is eliminated. This makes very little sense, but as Simone was probably too smart to be there anyway, it's probably for the best. Tyra goes off about 'breaking her to make her': if that one doesn't show up in the next two seasons, I'll be shocked.

Promising previews: In the next episode (tonight! Hooray!) one of the models tries to seduce Nigel. The Announcer-Man tries to make this big drama, but no one watching actually believes this is the first time that's happened.

If you're looking for Fantasy ANTM scores, they are here. Prior weeks' wrapups are here.

Current leader? Funny Mean Friend, with KK hot on her heels.

BONUS POINTS: If you email me before 8pm EST on Weds with a guess for who gets the boot, and who gets called first...you win a point each (to keep us all in the game. And winning. Because we are winners). Starts next week. I'll remind you.

If y'all have further points/stuff suggestions, do tell. I only wish we could make this a drinking game. For the rest of you, sorry. Will resume the regularly scheduled law school postings shortly.

Law School Roundup #219

Welcome to the (belated) Law School Roundup #219

OMG! Like, Totally: Law School is just like high school (Write and Wrong)
WTF: Or not. (i don't wear skinny jeans)
Hobbies: Something to keep the spouse occupied, too. (The Corner in the Middle)
PSA: Dear Authors: Seriously, guys. Get a clue. (New Kid on the Hallway)
The Plague: Don't panic. (Balancing the Scales)
SNF: Slimy Note Fiend. (Obiter Ovum)
Career Services: Good to know they're so universally helpful (Legal Ease)
Potpourri: Randoms (Tales of a Tree Hugging 2L)
Internet: Good for more than porn (Goateed 1L)

BONUS: Do not cross a law student during exams (Craigslist)

Look for next week's roundup at the Legal Underground, and then back here again in 2 weeks. If you want to be added to the blog roll, but don't see yourself up there shoot me an email and we'll get you on the wall of dis-honor. Or email me anyway. Even if you're bored in class. Especially if you're just hanging in there. I love emails.

Kisses!

NB

Ew. Ew. Ew.

Internet, this is a warning to all of you:

The next one of you that tries to live-blog/twitter/Facebook status update your child's birth--I will come to your home, remove all your electronic devices, and smack you. And you will deserve every second of it. Because, ladies? Facebook does not need to know that Julie just found a brown cow in Farmville and Kayla is 1 cm dilated! OMG! Baby Mikey is low! He's coming soon!!!!

Ick. Seriously guys. At a minimum, let's not assault people on their Facebook feeds, ok? It's too early in the morning to be talking about cervixes.