Monday, July 05, 2010

Neighborhood Watch: The Mayberry Version

This afternoon, my mother came into the house with her serious face on, called the dog, and headed outside again. Apparently, she saw someone dressed all in black, and hooded, crouched low in the bushes and looking into the neighbor's windows.

At this juncture, it would be appropriate to note: NoDog, while adorable, almost certainly has some pitbull in him. This is good for scaring of The Big Bad Guys, and having of the Big, Blocky, and Not Entirely Clever Head (these uses are secondary to Eater of Everything, Gassy Running Buddy, and Sleeper On The Couch When No One Is Watching, naturally). Also, Mom? Kind of the overly-cautious type. So if you, dear reader, are thinking: "Oh no! NoFamily! Vandals! Call the police!" .... don't worry. If she thinks NoDog can handle it, we're probably ok.

So. The NoFamily Neighborhood Watch goes out to knock on the neighbors' door, where the following exchange takes place:

Mom & The Brute Squad: Hi, I hate to bother you, but I think I saw someone looking into your windows. It's probably nothing, but...
Friendly Neighbor: Small and dressed in black? Hooded?
Mom & TBS: Actually, yes.
FN: *sigh* Yes. I...well, we have a ninja infestation.
Mom: . . .
FN: Ryan [aged 7, and a student at NoBro's karate school] is going through a ninja phase.
Mom: I see. We had a similar problem. Ours aged out around...12? I think?
FN/Mom of Ninja: 5 more years? Oh no. Would you like to come in for a drink?

And that, ladies & gents, is how neighbors make friends in NoTown.

The little ninja is out front, rolling between bushes and being stealthy, and I'm inside, wishing I were 7 again. Oh, summer vacation.


Jansen said...

Oh for cute!

Although I'm installing security window bars on my new garden-level apartment today to keep the ninjas/rapists/burglars/pandas out.

All rights reserved to my snotty and generally self-deprecating writing. And if your comments bother me, I'll delete them. That's right, pumpkin.
...How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
-- Emily Dickinson