Saturday, July 03, 2010

Just another Saturday in the Nobody household

NoCat #1 (the heinously bitchy edition) has taken to wandering around the house vomiting. She shows no other signs of illness, and though we are watching her carefully, we are starting to suspect that this is purely out of spite.

NoCat #2 has apparently become big subscriber to the catch-and-release movement. This would be less of a problem if he wasn't so insistent on bringing us his finds to show them off. Recent targets include: 3 mice, in various stages of maiming (My driver's seat, garage, and front hallway [Ha! Intercepted!], respectively), 1 dove (young, stupid, and almost as alarmed about being drug into the kitchen as we were to see it), and one very large, very surprised-looking toad (drug from where ever he was previously residing through the upstairs bathroom window).

Also this morning, I looked up from my gargantuan coffee mug to discover that my father, in a pique of home-fix-it-osity, has removed all of the bathroom doors. Yeah. Thanks for the warning on that. No word on when the bathroom doors will return, but I am assured that there is a gas station "not that far away." I would chance the shower here, but given NoCat #2's proclivities, I'm worried about ending up with company. He's been keeping a weather eye on baby possums out back.


lawschoolwife said...

There are several reasons I am not a cat person, and dragging in critters is the number one reason, followed by pooping in the house (even in a box, disgusting), and not following directions. A roommate of mine had a cat, and it was bad once, and I spanked it like I'd spank a dog, and it did not end well. Lesson learned. Do not spank cats.

Paralegal Hell said...

Oh, this brings me back to my days in high school where doors were a privilege, not a right, according to my father.
Good times!
Hang in there.
Paralegal Hell

All rights reserved to my snotty and generally self-deprecating writing. And if your comments bother me, I'll delete them. That's right, pumpkin.
...How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
-- Emily Dickinson