Roommate recently forwarded me this article about a couple who had their wedding at Wal-Mart.
Romantic, right?
Anyway, this is my thought: How could this not make the most awesome reality show ever? Think about it. Trap 10 engaged couples in a Super Wal-Mart for 48 hours. Give them a Wal-Mart appropriate budget, and tell them they have to host their wedding there, using only things they find in the store, in 48 hours. It has all the great elements of a good reality show: Sex! Drama! Crying! Cheap fried chicken!
Wal-Mart marketing department: Call me. I've got another hour of admin law and my creative juices are flowing.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sheer Marketing Genius
Posted by BA at 8:37 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: 3L, Current Events
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Law School Roundup #192
The weekly law school roundup is up over at The Legal Underground.
The Roundup is hosted in alternating weeks here at Thanks, But No Thanks and The Legal Underground. It features good blog posts from law students over the course of the week- if you want to be featured, the first step is get on the blogroll, so shoot me an email so you can get added.
Happy reading!
Posted by BA at 3:23 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Law School Roundup
Friday, September 25, 2009
Kind of a big deal
Hey look guys, I'm faaaaaamous!
Bitter Lawyer did a piece on their ten favorite student law blogs- and Thanks, But No Thanks made the list! Check out my (largely inane) interview on their site, and scope out some of the other candidates.
Yeah, its the big time.
Posted by BA at 4:05 PM 1 comments Links to this post
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
In Which Being A Gunner Doesn't Pay Off
Nobody: Prof. Crim Pro, I would like to talk to you about my grade last semester.
Prof. Crim Pro: Go for it, Nobody. Let's talk.
Nobody: Well, I got a B and...
Prof. Crim Pro: Ha! Really?!
Nobody: Yes, and....well. I was hoping that I could go over my final with you. I really want to bring my GPA this semester, and I want to know what I could have done better on that test, so that I can break out of my rut.
Prof. Crim Pro: Wow. I thought you would have done better, too. You seemed very clever in class....Yes. Well, let's see this thing....
Nobody: ....
Prof. Crim Pro: I mean. There's nothing wrong with it, per se. It's just, well...you lack that certain sparkle of brilliance that A students have. Know what I mean?
Posted by BA at 8:12 AM 12 comments Links to this post
Labels: 3L
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Outlining 101: On Figuring Out What This "Outline" Thing Is, Anyway.
Recently, one of the test prep companies on campus made the (grievous) mistake of inviting me to come in and speak to the 1Ls on "Survival Tips for Your 1L Year."
Hey. Quell your laughing, guys. They were serious, though I sort of suspect I was their backup choice. I love this sort of event, for the same reason I like blogging: giving out unsolicited advice is one of my favorite hobbies.
Anyway, I spoke on a panel of 4 upperclassmen from varying backgrounds and of varying academic interests. We had to answer all the token questions: Do you have any smart survival tips? (Obviously. Some more useful than others.) Is there anything you wished you knew? (Yes. Enough to write a book on it), Do you have any Socratic method horror stories? (I gave them the gory details of my first day of school)
We also got this one: What do I do about outlining?
This is what I said:
1. Just Do What Works for You: Mwhahahahah. Kidding. Sorry. Everyone says this in law school. What "just do what works for you" actually means is "I'm not that confident about my own system, and frankly, I've stumbled through so many that I can't remember how I got here anyway." The Just Do What Works For You approach isn't all that helpful if you have no idea what works for you.
The approach I recommend is the Don't Freak Out If Someone Else Does It Different approach. Someone is going to have a longer, more color-coded, outline than you do. Someone else will have an index. It will all be ok: you are good enough, smart enough, and you've spent enough damn hours on this outline that you're going to have to live with it.
2. Remember, Outlining is About Access: You do not need to know what Justice Storey said on page 49 of that opinion. I promise. Your outline should not contain this material. What your outline should do is provide a roadmap to the class. This means that major themes are featured, recurrent questions are addressed, and materials are synthesized (more on that later) in a way that makes them easy to access in your mid-exam flurry.
3. Class counts: If a topic is highlighted in class, you should have it in your outline. Your book notes will be helpful filler, but in 2.5 years of law school, I have yet to encounter an exam that favored topics exclusively covered in the book over lecture notes. Think about it. Your professor has several hours a week to hear himself talk about whatever he'd like. If he wanted you to ignore what he was saying, he would have made this a paper class.
My rule is this: if it is mentioned more than two days in class, the topic gets its own heading in my outline. Less than 10 minutes, and it doesn't make it in.
4. On the role of the book: One of the biggest mistakes I made 1L year was trying to synthesize the enter textbook into my outline. I ended up with a torts outline that was 109 pages long. This made people look at me like I was a crazy person (accurate) and was pretty much impossible to use during the exam, because it was so long and bulky (see #2).
I think this is a common 1L problem. Laying too heavily into the book not only ties up the time that would be better spent outlining or studying, but it can cause you to neglect the information that was focused on in lecture.
5. Easy there, turbo: Step slowly away from the squib cases. It is hard, when you're outlining, to resist the urge to put everything in there. To avoid this temptation and assuage my neurosis, I bring (a) class notes, (b) reading notes and (c) a copy of the assigned texts into my finals, when it is allowed. Here's the beauty of that approach: you don't have to put everything in your outline. If your professor throws you a curveball question, you will have your class notes, reading notes, and your book (which you've been taking notes in the margins in all along) to help you out. If none of those things help you, take a deep breath: everyone else is screwed too.
6. The Best Outline Prep is Reading: Seriously. Stay up on your reading. You're going to be almost $100k in debt for this- you might as well make your class time worth it by being prepared. That said, if you get behind (and you will)- it is ok to focus on the "big" cases and let the shorter ones slide when you start outlining. If it comes down to really understanding International Shoe or not, you're going to need to damage control. Get the big 'uns, and resist the urge to "catch up" on all of your reading when do you your outline- you do not need to have assiduous notes on every case, so long as you can find a case if you need it.
7. On Timing: I started outlining in mid-October, realized that nothing I'd done was useful, and started over again in November. This was later than I would have preferred, but not the end of the world. On a 4 unit class, I spent approximately 20-30 hours on my outline, over the course of the semester. I suspect this skews to the heavier side, but I could be wrong. I say this to warn you: it is easy to underestimate how long this process takes, especially first semester 1L year. I recommend starting in early to mid-October.
I don't recommend starting earlier- its hard to figure out the big picture of your courses when you're still trying to figure out what the hell is going on. As a 2L, I outlined in the last 2 weeks of the semester. That was about perfect for my purposes.
Here's What Works for Me: Candidly, this is how I outline. No one would give me a straight answer when I was a 1L, so I've done my best to explain my system. If it doesn't make sense, feel free to ask for clarification. There will be 2L and 3L readers that think I am full of crap- they may be on to something, but this is the system I have worked out:
- First, I grab the professor's syllabus*: He writes the test, so I figure he probably knows whats important. I use the syllabus as the framework for my outline. So, if Section I on the syllabus is "Personal Jurisdiction"- guess what is Section I in my outline?
- Then, I grab my book: I take the assigned reading, and I go through section by section, incorporating it into my baby outline. If it is bolded in the book, it goes into the outline. I add each case as well, noting the casebook page for each case.
- Then, I grab my class notes: I go through my class notes and fill out the "meat" of my outline. I like doing things in this order because, once I've incorporated my class notes, I can really see where the gaps in my learning are. This is also a great way to check (a) that you have all the class notes, and (b) see graphically what the prof has focused on.
- Then, I incorporate my reading notes: My reading notes fill in the gaps where my lecture notes are missing stuff. For cases, I include a bullet point or two summarizing the reasoning or significance of the case, and a quick byline that reminds me what the case is about. When I am feeling particularly anal-retentive, I make sure that each case is labeled with the page number of the reading material it is on (disclaimer: I have never used this feature).
For example: Hawkins v. McGee (hairy hands case), CB 321
- Damages should be difference between what was bargained for and what was recieved.
- Pain and suffering are not compensable here because pain and suffering are part of the deal for surgery.
- It is way too easy to make a masturbation joke here. - Finally, I "synthesize": Every prof will tell you to do this. I am not entirely clear on what it means, but here's what I do: I go through my outline, and I read it, top to bottom. I go section by section, and I re-write. During this stage, I do a lot of condensing- this is helpful because (a) it helps me to recognize recurrent themes in the course, and (b) it makes my outline less unwieldy. Often, this is where I discover that there are some unanswered questions in my notes- I start to realize what I don't understand, and what I have a good handle on.
More generally at this point in the game, I try to figure out what each case stands for, and the major themes of each section. Looking at the notes, I ask: what was the point of including this case? (note: this is differnet than "what was the point of this case?") I edit my outlines frequently, and re-read them frequently- outlines are all about the process of outlining, so this is basically review, channeling my OCD tendencies into something productive. - Last but not least, I share: This is not a required step, but it is often very helpful. Once I have a solid outline (or at least a solid outline section), I go through it with someone else. Often, in talking about the material, we each tease out new questions. Two heads are better than one, in many cases, but be careful: just copying someone else's outline is often more confusing than helpful.
Happy outlining!
*Why does that sound so dirty?
Posted by BA at 3:09 PM 8 comments Links to this post
Labels: 1L, 3L, Advice, Law School Makes You Crazy
Monday, September 21, 2009
So You Think You Can Blawg...
It's fall, loyal readers- and fall brings with it new classes, fresh blood at the law school, and of course, absurdly high hopes for my chronically disappointing football team. And Halloween candy. But that's another story.
This blog post is not about The Little Football Team That Broke My Heart, or why those candy corn pumpkin things are the vilest food creation on the planet except for fried oysters. This post is about being a blogger (or a blawger, if you must) in a law school world. If you're thinking of starting a law blog, here's my take on it:
On blogging. Or not: Fall always brings a new crop of law student blogs. They are mostly 1Ls, chronicling the life/times/terror of 1L year, and they (nearly) all peter out by mid-October. That, to my mind, is a terrible shame. Though I have no great qualms about referring to myself as "the few, the proud...the blogging," it is nice to have some fresh blood on the law-blogging scene.
Blogging is fun! Or, at a minimum, it is an exercise in creativity and expression that has very little to do with actually being in law school. And that, frankly, is pretty nice.
But blogging is also a commitment People start up for a variety of reasons (keeping in touch with family, having an outlet, narcissism), but when the chips fall and it is outlining season again, many blogs start to fall apart. This is not a "new puppy" level commitment, but if you have a hard time keeping goldfish alive, you may have a hard time keeping the blog up and current, too. If updating only sporadically (and a readership that corresponds with that habit), doesn't bother you, then you have nothing to worry about. Just be aware of the mounting guilt that comes with abandoning your one loyal reader. Writers block is a terrible thing.
On Anonymity: Many beginning bloggers opt for an anonymous blog. There are great perks to this- your blog won't show up in a google search of your name, and it may give you a little more freedom to write about what you please. On the flip side, there are compelling reasons not to blog anonymously, neatly summarized at Three Years of Hell to Become the Devil. Obviously, I come out on the anonymity side of the argument, with certain caveats.
I opted for anonymity for a number of reasons. First, because I am incredibly sheepish about connecting my writing to my name- I much prefer that School Me and Blog Me operate independently. Second, because this blog is largely personal - I write as an outlet, and I add very, very little academic content to the interwebz. This blog will never be a resume booster for me, so I have no great need to attach my name to it. Third, I prefer anonymous blogging because (as those of you who subscribe to the feed know) I am not much of a proof reader. I prefer anonymous blogging because it gives me flexibility in the things that I write: with some filtering and a fair bit of free-flowing thought, I can dump my "This is Me" all over the internet without caveats or mincing around the point.
The freedom you get from anonymous blogging is not a free-pass to no-holds-barred snark, however. Thanks But No Thanks is not a resume booster, but it will never be a resume killer, either. I don't name names, I fudge minor details, and I try to keep the potentially defamatory information to a minimum. More importantly, I don't really give people a reason to want to know the law student behind the screen. Would I be fun to take our for beers? Yes, and you should do that. Do I make anyone so angry that they want to seek me out and egg my house? Not on a regular basis.
When I first started blogging, I was super-secretive about my online persona. I never blogged from school, and I compulsively checked sitemeter to ensure that nobody from NoSchool was reading. Three years later, I've gotten a little more laid-back. After making it through 2 years of law school, my sense of my own importance has changed dramatically. Though it may be a great shock to you, dear reader, most of the people who come across this blog don't actually care who I am in real life. Except maybe the ones who come here googling "elephant boods," but thats another story.
Whether you generally choose anonymity or not, I think it is a wise move to share the blog with those you're closest to. Roommate and Darwin both read here, as do Funny Mean Friend and a few others who are near and dear. The reasons for this are twofold: I am a terribly chatty drunk, and I blog about them fairly regularly. Given the option between having them know about the blog now, and having them potentially find out later, I went with the option that caused the least amount of drama. Also, would-be-anonymous bloggers: the Internet is not a diary. It is public. Don't you think its a little creepy to send up public missives about your nearest and dearest without their consent?
If you think you want to blog anonymously, Citizen Media Law Project has a great guide here, with lots of links and resources. If you do jump on board the John Doe anonymity train, however, keep in mind: nothing on the Internet is ever really secret. Blog anonymously, but blog with the recognition that you may be uncovered. There are trackbacks, there are drunks with big mouths, and there is such a thing as revealing too much online. There is Google cache- and that, friends, should give you some temperance the next time you want to pour a little vitriol into the internet. Anonymous blogging is many things, but it is not an invisibility cloak. Conduct yourself accordingly.
Anonymity goes two ways: Dennis Jansen over at No. 634 offers great advice when he suggests that you create "composites" of your professors and other frequent players on the blog. Blur the edges of reality just a little bit, for your own sake and for the sake of those you blog about. Unless you intend to call someone out (in which case, have at it, and good luck), identifying people on your blog is just asking for trouble. Relationships and the social network, especially in law school, are far too complicated to go burning your bridges at the first sign of annoyance. The legal world is small, and the economy is terrible- don't go making enemies you don't need.
Even when people really, really, suck (and believe me, they will), its worthwhile to tailor your message and take a deep breath. Think about it: unless you're the H.L. Mencken of the law-blogging world, you're going to sound like a raving asshole. There's an old adage about glass houses and stones in there somewhere, but the moral of the story is this: if you must mock (and as a law student, you were born with the inclination to), mock wisely, and make it worth reading. Be the witty commentator, not the angry grandpa on the porch next door.
Link, comment, link,repeat: Bloggers who have readers are readers. If you don't take the time to catch up on other people's blogs, do not expect them to trouble themselves with yours. Not only will reading other blogs introduce you to people outside of your law school environment, but you'll get to be part of an ongoing conversation in the law student world. No man is an island, and no law student blogs alone. Show some link lovin'.
Give credit where credit is due. If someone inspired you, reference them. Don't quote without asking (it's rude!) and don't, for the love of all that is holy, plagiarize off your fellow bloggers. We are selfish about the things we create, and do not like to share without credit.
Take the time to comment, and develop a blogroll. Blogrolls have two major bonuses: first, they allow you to connect with other blogs. When you add my blog to your blogroll, I'll add yours to mine. We both get more traffic, and the internet hums along more harmoniously. When you add me and Joe the Juggler to your blog roll, I read your blog, and then I get to read Joe's blog. More fun for everyone!
When you comment on my posts, I read your blog. Bonus points if you tell me I am smart or clever, clearly. Negative points if you use my blog to promote your own (unrelated) agenda or male enhancement pills. Not only do I read your blog when you comment on mine, but the people who read my blog see your comment, and then they read your blog, too. But until you say hello, your fellow bloggers don't know you're out there- and then its just your mom and that one creepy guy from Canada reading your thoughts on law school. And when you reference your two loyal readers, well- wouldn't it be nice to have readers that aren't quite so cliche?
On finding your voice: If you are a 1L, you will invariably blog about: your lack of sleep, how scary the Socratic method is, how your classmates make you want to smack them with your Glannon on Civ Pro, the hairy hand case in torts, and how exams are officially The Worst Thing Ever. The fact that these are such staples of 1L blogging doesn't need to stop you from writing about them: one only needs to take a short trip down the teen vampire romance novel aisle at Borders to know that just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean you can't, too.
If you frequent the Law School Roundup here, you'll see many of the "standard" law school topics covered in the featured blogs. The thing that makes these blogs stand out to me is that they have found a unique way of describing their world. They have a funny turn of phrase, a new perspective, or a healthy honesty that I enjoy. They are poignant or funny, or express a common experience in a different way. New material is great, but part of the value of blogs is being able to look at the world through someone else's (overworked, caffeine-soaked) eyes.
Blog postings can be pretty hit or miss. I don't re-read my blog posts unless I am very, very drunk, so I can't give you an honest review of my own work, but I can definitely tell you that some of it "adds value" to the law-related internet yammering, and some of it is pure drivel. Much like photography, the key is often to put more out there in the hopes that something will be a hit. Reading more blogs helps, too. Virgin in the Volcano and (In)Sanity Souffle both have a unique voice, and reading them inspires me to write more.
If you weren't in law school, you could, you know, read actual books, but let's not shoot too high, shall we?
Happy blogging!
Posted by BA at 2:35 PM 10 comments Links to this post
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Law School Roundup #191
Welcome to Law School Roundup #191!
The Roundup is hosted in alternating weeks here and at The Legal Underground. It features good blog posts for the week from law students past, present, and future. Today's Roundup is extra-long, because I've been a lackdasical blogger this week, and, even as good as Jansen is, you can only spend so long catching up at No. 634 before you reach the end of the internet and need another blawg to fill up the space.
It is also extra-long because (hooray!) the 1Ls are out in force, and blogging. Hi guys. Welcome to the club. Law school is both more hilarious and more horrifying than previously advertised. Consider yourself warned.
Without further ado....
"Don't Worry, 3L is Easier": Lies, damned lies, and law school (Law School Virgin)
Indecent Exposure: On learning more than you bargained for in lectures (Legally Questionable Content)
Scromph: Late bloomers, sound effects, and LOLWalrus (The JE Guide to Life)
Survival Skills: Scotchguard and accosting the vagrants (Now That I'm Awake)
Back to Basics: It's important to have someone around who will make sure you put on your pants ((In)Sanity Souffle)
Just Like Law School: On the effects of caffiene (Catatonic Storm Clouds)
Booty Call: Because McDonalds is hott (Starting to Melt)
Common Fears: Really, who isn't a little afraid of being crushed in the stacks? (Teasingly Diverse)
The Socratic Method: Its not as bad as you think it is. Usually. (Really? Law?)
Sense and Sensibility: A love story, or why 1L is more like Borges than Kafka (An Invisible Man's Blog)
Blueberries: Last sweet memories of summer (Tales of the Basil Queen)
Making New Friends: What not to do when you live in the city (The Divine Details)
Professor's Fallacy: On passing the bar exam. Or not. (The Shark)
Will Work for Westlaw Access: The job interview dredges. (Pay the Money and Take a Shot)
From the Alumni Files: Once they have their claws in you, they never really let go (The Namby Pamby, Attorney at Law) (link fixed, with thanks to Legally Questionable Content)
Look for next week's roundup at the Legal Underground, and then back here again in 2 weeks. If you want to be added to the blog roll, but don't see yourself up there (1Ls: This means you), shoot me an email and we'll get you on the wall of dis-honor. I love emails.
In the meantime, try to stay out of trouble, kids.
Kisses!
Posted by BA at 5:25 AM 2 comments Links to this post
Labels: Law School Roundup
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Internet, meet Sputnik.
The Nobody Law School Family is growing.
As longtime readers know, the Nobody Law School Family currently encompasses Roommate (partner in crime, general voice of reason), Darwin (that lovely boy who dates/loves/tolerates me and talks me off of cliffs) and Sofa the Cat (squishy lap warmer). We amble along in relative harmony, a happy little family. It's not 2.5 kids and a dog, but then, we're not exactly a traditional bunch.
Recently, the family got a little bigger. Here's how:
Darwin and I were just getting home from the grocery store. It was raining, cold, and gray outside. NoTown does not believe in seasons: NoTown only endorses "cold" "muggy" and occasionally "blissfully fall-like." Though it may come as no great surprise to you, Internet, I was tired, up to my ears in journal work, and feeling a little intellectually insufficient and emotionally vulnerable (this is important for later), so the dreary weather was a perfect match for my Eeyore attitude.
Darwin stepped out of his side of the car, and bent down to pick something up. I stopped to look when he came around the car, and low and behold: it was a box from the pet store. It was smaller than a shoebox, soggy, and emblazoned with "Take me home!" on the side. The box was also shivering and shaking.
Now, I cry at SPCA commercials, so this was a little bit too much for my overwrought sensibilities. If it is furry and found at a barnyard, zoo, or pet store, I love it unconditionally (snakes and scaly things excepted). The thought of someone leaving a perfectly nice animal alone, in the parking lot, in a puddle, waiting to get run over, on the way to his 'new home'...Have you seen the Sarah McLachlan commercial? The effect of seeing that sad, wet, shivering little box elicited "Arms of the Angels" status sad on my part.
Without opening the container, Darwin and I rushed inside with our new pet, Anonymous Small Thing in Box, and debated what to do with it. I suggested posters- some sad person had lost their pet! He suggested finding a better home for it- whoever left Anonymous Small Thing in Box in a puddle in the parking lot was clearly not a responsible pet owner. He had a point.
Standing with Anonymous Small Thing in Box in the living room, we debated what to do with him. We decided that the most responsible course of action would be to go back to the store, and get some kind of temporary housing for Anonymous Box-Thing, then have Darwin bring him to work to see if one of his coworkers would adopt it. As a precautionary measure (do we need a bird cage or a Furry Thing cage?), I cracked open the side of the soggy box, and a cute but unidentifiable furry little nose poked out.
I refuse to be responsible for my actions after this point in the story. Cute wet furry noses sniffing at your fingers are enough to make even Chuck Norris weep.
We headed out to get a temporary cage for Anonymous Small Thing in Box, determined to find him a responsible home. We didn't even make it out of the parking spot before I was in negotiations with Darwin. The result: Anonymous Small Thing in Box stays, Darwin gets to name him. Meet Sputnik, the no-longer-anonymous, no-longer-in-box, newest member of the Nobody family:
I am a sucker. He is adorable. Sofa is thrilled.
Posted by BA at 4:37 PM 2 comments Links to this post
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Law School Roundup #190
Law School Roundup #190 is up over at the Legal Underground.
Check back here, same great place and time, for next week's roundup.
Posted by BA at 2:33 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Law School Roundup
Friday, September 11, 2009
Most. Inspiring. Interview. Ever.
I had my phone interview with Judge Godiva's clerks today. I sat out on the lawn, where I had cell phone reception and the comfort of a nice fall afternoon.
It went well, mostly. Oh, except for the part where they asked "Tell us what you know about Judge Godiva," and without warning, every speaker on campus started blaring "It's My Life."
Seriously.
Because who doesn't love a little Bon Jovi in their Friday afternoon interview?
Posted by BA at 4:33 PM 2 comments Links to this post
Labels: 3L, Clerkships
Roommate is such a good influence on me.
This morning, I made coffee. Roommate and I were dismayed to find that there was no creamer left (we like our coffee like we like out men: sweet, rich, and good with bagels in the morning). We tried to problem solve by using milk, but the milk had just started to turn, and we were left with black coffee.
Roommate and I are not black coffee people.
What would you do, Internet? Would you do as I suggested, and pour your travel mugs full of black coffee, then trek over to the law school to steal creamer from the cafe?
Or would follow Roommate's lead, and grab the Kahlua?
I can tell you right now, it is going to be a delicious morning.
Posted by BA at 6:37 AM 2 comments Links to this post
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Curiouser and curiouser: On uninvited guests.
Recently, we received a notice from our apartment management that the maintenance guys would be coming in to replace some faucets. Since our showerheads were older than Methuselah, there was much rejoicing in the Nobody household. Hooray! Water pressure!
Sometime during the Designated Week of Changing Faucets, I was in my room doing my morning routine (read: rocking out while half dressed). I had had a lovely shower, and things were great. As I was puttering around in a bra, wet hair, and jeans, I heard Roommate rummaging outside my door. The rummaging continued unabated for quite some time, so I decided it was time to check up on her. I flung open the door and inquired, with some delicacy, what the hell was going on out there.
Fun fact, internet: Roommate is not a 35 year old white male. Roommate does not wear torn jeans and sweat stained shirts. And Roommate, generally speaking, does not grunt in response to my questions or fiddle with the water heater. The maintenance guy, apparently, does.
So there was that. Apparently, he barged in on Roommate in similar fashion. She would have warned me, but she was hiding in her own room in her robe. On the upside, our water filter is changed now. But, while the maintenance guy was replacing my a piece in my faucet, he managed to break the whole fixture. Since they now had to replace the entire fixture, the maintenance guys (they had multiplied while I put on a shirt) assured us they would be back "later."
Today, I came home from school at 6 and discovered a nasty plastic bucket full of dirty water sitting on my bathroom floor. This prompted the following email exchange between Roommate and I:
Dear Roommate,
Are you missing a slightly vile looking bucket full of dirty water?
-----------------------------------------
Nobody:
Um, I am concerned about our apartment. I meant to say this earlier, but forgot. When I came home at 12, I found 3 things:
1. One side of our coffee table seemed to have been pushed way further away from the couch than either of our feet could reach. I thought, huh, weird.
2. The slip of paper saying that someone had fixed the faucet (presumably in your bathroom) was sitting on the coffee table. Such slips have never been left on the coffee table before. I thought, huh, weird.
3. Someone had clipped their toenails and left 4 or 5 giant toenail clippings on the coffee table. On the side that had been pushed away from the couch. I thought, EWWWW, GROSS! I threw them away. Then I washed my hands.
Now, you have found a bucket of dirty water in your bathroom. I don’t know what these things add up to, but I don’t’ like it at all!!
So. Either we have apartment gnomes, or our maintenance guy is a real asshole.
Posted by BA at 4:26 AM 3 comments Links to this post
Labels: 3L, Law School Makes You Crazy
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
What Next?
After graduation, law students face a plethora of scary alternatives to the student life exciting options. Back in the economic glory days, we called these things "opportunities." Now they are more appropriately characterized as "Things which will stress you out when your mother asks about them." Here at NoSchool, my options basically fall into one of the following categories:
Big Firm: Big money, big hours, big ego. You know. Exactly what you read on Above the Law. There is one guy who actually got that job this year. He has flawless grades and skin, and a cold, icy heart. He is totally having sex with your girlfriend, by the way. 1Ls, look long and hard at this firm, and then look long and hard at your GPA. Most people do not work here. As your first semester grades have not yet come in, you may still be under the delusion that you are not Most People.
Bad news. You probably are. Revisit this post when you get that transcript in- that's a whole 'nother existential crisis we can address this January. I am the captain of the Most People team, High Priestess of the Most People cult. I sent my transcript to Skadden NY and it came back billing 18 hours a day and telling me it was too good for me.
Even if they'd have me, I listen to too much Rancid to fit in at Big Firm, so there we are. Cross it off the list.
Firm Which Actually Hires Human Beings: The rest of us. Small and midsized firms which have not gone out of business, working in midsized markets. I really have nothing to say about this. Work Hard, Play Hard LLP is a FWAHB. They were fun to work for. They also have sent an email every Friday since our last day, regularly assuring us that "decisions will be coming out next week." Who knows what that means, except that I should be seriously considering applying for other jobs.
Federal Government/DOJ: At NoSchool, this is the smart kids who don't like to eat out as much as the Big Firm crowd. Mostly, this equates to agency work and the DOJ. Excellent work ethic, but the charisma is hit or miss in this crowd at NoSchool. If this is what you think you're doing after law school, fellow 3Ls, turn to the guy next to you. He also applied to the DOJ Honors Program. So did everyone else you know. And everyone else I know, clearly.
I would sell my firstborn child to be part of the DOJ Honors Program. Thankfully, the application has a section which prompts the applicants to write "One thing you think the reviewing officer should know about you," so now you and the DOJ both know that my very good genetics are up for sale. The DOJ starts calling applicants for interviews in late September or so, so you can expect my totally emo post about how unemployable I am around that time.
State Government: Apparently some of our graduates work in state government, but because we are a Very Important and National Law School, we don't believe in advertising this fact. Anyway, I'm not sure if you've heard, but everyone everywhere is in a hiring freeze.
LLM/PhD: When in doubt, go for another graduate degree. Keep those student loans in deferment! I have no idea what I would get a degree in, but I am always in support of more school.
Nomadic Herder: My first choice. I like goats. And dirt.
Clerkships: Clerkships are 1 or 2 year fellowships working with a judge. You research, you write opinions, you get to play at being one of the legal elite. I
Clerkships come in two flavors: Federal and state. Federal clerkships are the delicious, highly sought after chocolate of the duo. State clerkships are the under-appreciated vanilla. Tasty, useful for lots of things, but nobody has a vanilla craving. Nobody makes out with their dates because they bought them a box of vanillas.
People totally make out with their dates because they brought them a box of Federal Clerkship. Of the Federal clerkships, you have two options: District Courts (the box of chocolate/clerkship from Hershey) and Appellate Courts (the Godiva box).*
Career Services will tell you that having a clerkship opens doors, teaches you how judges think, and occasionally earns you a clerkship bonus. I am here to tell you, after a summer working with a federal judge, that clerkships enable you to spend all day doing nerdy law things with brilliant people, gives you true insider credentials, allows you to spend all day reading and writing, and lets you spend lots of time with interesting questions. More importantly, it enables you to defer the real world for a year or two. It should come as no great surprise to the regular readers that I have my sights set on a clerkship, on account of the nerd factor.
Anyway, yesterday was the first day that judges could look at clerkship applications. Friday, they will officially be able to start making interview offers, but there are plenty of judges who don't quite abide by this plan, sending out feelers earlier and hiring as they see fit.
Work Hard Play Hard LLP shows no signs of coming through on their airy promises of job offers, and the Department of Justice is unlikely to recognize my inherent greatness, on account of the fact that the whole building is likely to implode under the volume of applications they've recievd this year. But brace yourself, Internet.
Remember back in June, when I was moaning about applying for federal clerkships?
A judge. Wants to talk. To me. A real judge. And not even a traffic court judge, Internet. A Godiva judge. Apologies in advance to the downstairs neighbors for the excessive squealing and jumping that will be raining down on their sad little heads.
Awesome. I'm going to go out on a limb and call this one an opportunity. And if it falls through, I'm looking into the goat market.
*Please excuse the tortured food analogies. I did not pack a lunch.
Posted by BA at 1:54 PM 6 comments Links to this post
Labels: 3L, Clerkships, Jobs
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Law School Roundup #189
Welcome to Law School Roundup #189. At this point in the year, you're reluctantly getting back into the swing of things, or realizing with that horrible sinking feeling that when they said 2L was easier...they lied. Or maybe you're a 3L, and you're off perfecting your golf swing and denying economic reality for another few months.
At any rate, we've got your Roundup, fresh out of the oven for ya:
Class Rules: Syllabus day is fun (Legally Questionable Content)
Lessons we learn: Bar review- a learning experience in every sense of the work (Lipgloss & Law School)
Figuring it out: Fall recruiting and the evening student (Fight the Hypo)
Secrets of the Trade: Keys to the hidden job market (The Shark)
Dream big: On sugar plums, and other goodies (Blogging Matilda)
Words of Wisdom: Practical study advice from someone who's been there (My Legal Fiction)
Prepared: On the wonders of briefs, and using them (law:/dev/null)
Split Personalities: On life in, and out of, law school (i don't wear skinny jeans)
Civ Pro in a Nutshell: Or, what your world looks like before Pennoyer. (Law School Ninja)
New York to 0? Thoughts on the end of billable hours (Fearfully Optimistic)
Look for next week's roundup at the Legal Underground, and then back here again in 2 weeks. If you want to be added to the blog roll, but don't see yourself up there (1Ls: This means you), shoot me an email and we'll get you on the wall of dis-honor.
In the meantime, try to stay out of trouble, kids.
Kisses!
Posted by BA at 3:38 PM 2 comments Links to this post
Labels: Law School Roundup
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Auspicious search results
Great news: "Something dead in my wall" is in my top 10 search phrases on Google Analytics.
You're welcome, Internet.
Posted by BA at 4:57 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Peas. Pod.
Phew. Ok, several whirlwind weeks of training and terrorizing the 2Ls (hi guys) and writing stern emails to my recalcitrant authors, and coercing sweet talking Darwin into helping me clean the Journal office, and we are finally up, running, and ready to go.
Which means that I had time to savor this email from our charming faculty editor when I emailed to check in on one of the submissions:
NB,
Great. I’ll scan in the most recent draft t I reviewed. To be frank, I got five pages in and attempted to throw it away. It didn't take. While the scholarship is interesting, this author has a disturbing predilection for the dangling modifiers and obtuse prose. Please look at my comments carefully. If any of them strike you as something a crotchety old man would write, or are mean spirited—the way a person might write after several hours of slogging through a densely written draft—we may need to edit them down to a more user-friendly, less expletive-filled, form.
Prof. X
It may be a good year after all.
Posted by BA at 1:48 PM 1 comments Links to this post
Labels: 3L, Journal of Fun and Wonderment
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Law School Roundup #188
Law School Roundup #188 is up at the Legal Underground.
Check back here, same great place and time, for next week's Roundup.
Posted by BA at 4:06 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Law School Roundup