Working for the Weekend

First day of work today!

Dress code for the summer is "business casual." My shiny new summer associate manual came with a description of what this means, which was entirely uninformative: I've thus far learned that cut-offs, shirts with sexual slogans, and high-top sneakers are not appropriate. Basically, if you'd wear it to a grunge concert, or roll your eyes at it on the subway, it shouldn't come into the office.

This much I know. Why is business casual so darn squishy for girls? I will not be tricked by this nonsense. I'm wearing a suit.

Updates to follow. This summer's mission: Look cute, don't get fired.

Updated to add:
Holy moly, they gave me an office with a window. And a secretary. My soul is so cheap.

Law School Roundup #174

Law School Roundup #174 is up over at the Legal Underground.

Go check it out!

I have no use for ruby red slippers

Hello, Internet, how are you? Miss me? Naturally you did. I will be blogging more this summer- I have not abandoned you. Promise. Also, good news: I did not fail corporations, so I will actually be able to continue as a law school blogger, not just a random malinger of others.

After a lazy, hazy, week and a half post-finals with Darwin (yes, I have seen every episode of Iron Chef ever made), I hopped a plane on Wednesday night and headed back home to work and my maniac family. Since I was flying, obviously, everything was delayed.* To ice the situation with an extra coat of awesome, on the first flight, someone in my row had the worst. gas. ever. Mmmmm. On the second, the pilot apologized over the loudspeaker for the lack of drink service to the back of the plane: "See, the plan is more wobbly back there, and it's harder to get the cart down with all this turbulence." It seems to me that we were the ones that needed the drink, but instead, we got a few delightful hours of "...seatbelts! *bam wham rattle* Please remain seated."

Yeah, it was awesome. I love flying.

Now I'm home. My first stop yesterday was to an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant. Once I got that fix, I somehow got roped into laying irrigation.

Well, not that roped. They offered me a chance to play with this toy, and I couldn't turn it down. Spikes! Twisty things! Loose dirt! I must learn what it is called, so that if I am ever asked in an interview what kind of garden implement best represents me, I will have an accurate answer.

Mind you, my family does not live in the country. We are camped out in suburbia: 2.5 kids and a dog, etc., etc. Nonetheless, my father developed a sudden fascination with gardening, and all of a sudden: bam! A dozen tomato plants, just hanging out in the back yard, with plans to plant more. A dozen tomato plants. We will be eating tomatoes until our faces fall off, and then we'll be crushed by the weight of the leftovers. The tomatoes are surrounded by the onions, partially shaded by the fruit trees, just to the right of the cilantro, and will probably crowd out the eggplant. What I'm trying to say is: the produce section? It moved to my backyard.

Yesterday's project involved several trips to the local hardware store to get just the right accouterments for irrigating the incoming bean crop. Law school does not prepare you for sitting on your butt, covered in compost, but I think I may be better at gardening than at Con Law. Now, post weeding and watering and digging, we have a nice little plot full of goodies, all of which inspire me to culinary heights I almost certainly will never actually attain.

Still, it was satisfying to actually have an answer to the bean problem, and to work with my hands. See?

This represents 1/6 of the wilderness my backyard has become. Home is nice. Excuse me, I have to go water the beans.




* At last estimate, I have taken over two dozen flights since beginning law school. Three arrived on time.

Law School Roundup #173

Congratulations, Graduates! Apologies for the lack of posting- updates to come soon, I promise. I've been alternately lying drunk on the couch watching the Food Network, and rambling around on the beach with Darwin (jealous? You should be). It turns out that Corporations will really take it out of you.

Without further ado, welcome to Law School Roundup #173:

Classy: Deciding how many classes to take as a non-trad (Law Ingenue)

Party on, Wayne: Ranking law schools...by the fun factor (Luke Gilman)

Hyphenation: First lesson of law school: Lawyers play fast and loose with grammar anyway (New Kid on the Hallway)

Bottle Service: Delightful in every incarnation (A New Duck)

Link, Link, Link: The Shark's got a new bar exam blog, if you're in to that sort of thing. Shouldn't you be playing at being a beach bum right now? (The Wringer)

Inspiring Words: Three years later, "I don't know" is still the answer. (Butterflyfish)

Adding up: How many minutes make a JD? (Useless Dicta)

Why signs say what moms want them to say: I'm not certain this is not a tactic they teach in professor-school, too. (Magic Cookie)


Look for next week's roundup at the Legal Underground, and then back here again in 2 weeks. If you want to be added to the blog roll, but don't see yourself up there, shoot me an email and we'll get you on the wall of dis-honor.


Kisses!

Law School Roundup #172

This week's law school roundup is over at the Legal Underground.

Check back here next week, same great place and time, for the latest edition!

Levity from the depths of the stacks

This may come as a surprise to you, but it isn't just finals week for the law students.

My little freshmen took their final yesterday. Although I was desperately trying to learn corporations while I proctored, I didn't see any (visible) tears, though everyone was writing till the last minute (and some beyond. Hello? I can see you!). Grades won't be due till just after the law school finals are over, which means you'll be able to find me after my Corporations final buried in an unholy stack of bluebooks and final papers.

I'd like to get the final assignments graded a little earlier, however, so that I can actually sleep sometime in the next two weeks. As such, I started flipping through the last paper they turned in last night. The papers are always a bit of a gas: freshmen have very, very strange ideas about what makes a "good" paper.

Please step slowly away from the thesaurus function. The passive voice does not make you sound smarter. Wikipedia is not a legitimate academic resource--these are the things that I wish I could convey to them, if only I could get it to stick. The task of making literate adults out of them is not made any easier by the fact that I work with Gonzo the Wonder TA.*

Anyway: this paper had two prompts: one on national security, the other on important policy actors. The policy actors prompt was a gimme- it basically consisted of "sum up what you've learned in this class." The national security prompt was a con-law nightmare of presidential powers, civil rights and civil liberties, and judicial decision making, all mushed together into a half-page prompt. Obviously, they all wrote on the national security prompt. Curses.

To make matters worse, Gonzo the Wonder TA has been tutoring his students on the importance of the "hook" in academic writing. Law review editors, take note: under the Gonzo Rules of Good Writing, it is very important to start your paper with something "dramatic" and "exciting" to make your reader want to continue.

Being the kind of reader who gets paid, I am slightly more pragmatic about this "hook" business, I've advised my students to get straight to the point. Gonzo has not. The result? Gonzo has gone to Europe for a conference, and I'm left reading pages of crazy-person statements ("Minorities don't vote because they can't read") and bizarre, rambling narrative ("Imagine yourself five years from now...you're married, with two children...."). The upside of this is that, because this is the last paper, I will never have to see the minority-hater, or face the kid who is speculating on my marriageable potential.

The more important upside is this: hilarious paper titles. As best I can guess, they are going with a "throw it against the wall and see if it sticks" approach. Why else would I be reading:

All They Care About is Results.
...I have read the first two pages. I'm still not sure if this paper is about the mob or Congress.

Violation or Civil Liberties, Civil Rights, or Both?
...Help help! I'm confused by all the choices.

Naked Body Scanners
...Believe me, Return of the Naked Body Scanners is so much better.

Players in Public Policy
...this student actually quotes Big Pimpin'. As a result, it's being referred to as "Playa's in Public Policy" in the Nobody household.

Policy High Rollers
...They hang out with the playa's, obviously.

Justice at 40,000 feet
...this should come with its own cop-movie theme song. I'm going to hum one while I grade.

Brotherly Betrayal!
...The musical!

My Brother Against the Machine
...he rages, obviously.

Family Feud with the TSA
...Not nearly the kind of gameshow you'd hoped it would be.

I'd Rather Keep My Clothes On, Thank You Very Much
...No, thank you.


This is an untapped market. I'm certain there is an excellent B-list movie somewhere in this stack. Who's bringing popcorn?

Oh, the Circus. I'm going to miss them over the summer. At least until I start grading their finals, that is.



* Gonzo the Wonder TA is bad at teaching, excel, personal hygiene, social skills, and life. He is the high priestess of ineffectual and indignant shushing and hand motions during class. Once, when he had to do his guest lecture, he played "Big Pimpin'." The students actually laughed at him, and then booed him during his lecture. Really. Bad at life.

Law School Roundup #171

Welcome to Law School Roundup #171. If you've been outside, congratulations on being done with finals. If you haven't: don't worry, I've filled my freezer with margarita mix. I'll save you a glass.

It's time to put down the coffee cup, back slowly away from the highlighters, and enjoy a heaping serving of blawggy. Repeat after me: It's all going to be ok. It's all going to be ok.

Life before law school? Isn't it nice when the smart things you did come back to haunt you? (Useless Dicta)

Finals=death: That about sums it up (Starting to Melt)

Competence: The elusive key to job satisfaction (Magic Cookie)

The Internet Can Not Be Trusted: Yeah! Trannyhead is hawter than the Bar! (Tranny Head Rawks)

Shadowing the PD's: Tacos and a life calling (Red Shoe Ramblings)

Law of Swine Flu: Is this an active practice area? (Luke Gilman)

The Textbook Racket: Exploring other options (Law Ingenue)

They Don't Give Points for Creativity: There are better ways to hire a lawyer (The Rising Jurist)

Not All Its Cracked Up to Be: Reflections on the end of 1L year (Laughing: With or at You)

Look for next week's roundup at the Legal Underground, and then back here again in 2 weeks. If you want to be added to the blog roll, but don't see yourself up there, shoot me an email and we'll get you on the wall of dis-honor.


Kisses!