Sunday, January 25, 2009

Survey Says: I should have done the reading.

So Virgin tagged me, and though I'm not usually a meme kind of girl, her writing very helpfully reminded me that meme doesn't have to mean mundane.Also, I've been drinking, and I don't want to read for Corporations. This may result in an uncomfortably honest ramble.

I'm not tagging anyone, because I do what I want. But you should do your own, to give me something to read. In return, I will return to regularly scheduled blogging sometime in the not-so-distant future

Edited to add: For fun and giggles, I decided to read this again sober. I didn't delete anything, but I did clarify, because things got...muddled. Especially down at the bottom of the bottle.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Returning home from a workout with a glass of Silver Oak in one hand, and a spatula in the other. Sauteing mushrooms in butter, garlic, and red wine. Good conversation in the kitchen. Sitting on the counter while someone with red hair and nice arms makes me a steak. Reading something that crawls into your ears and flows out your tongue. Sitting on the couch with a good companion and a warm cat.

Good lord I have been drinking. Please excuse this unedited foray into Big Psuedo-Poetic Statements, as I am sometimes a drunken cliche.

2. What is your greatest fear?
Waking up to discover that I really am as pedestrian as I always feared I might be.
Dear Internet: I am a snob.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I'm not the self-loathing type. I'm much too busy deploring things in others. Like a penchant for leggings, or gold lycra.
Dear Internet: Just kidding. No really. I am.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Self-important political posturing. Corollary: Posting political commentary on Facebook. Believe me, if I wanted to know, I'd ask.

5. Which living person do you most admire?
My 1L criminal law professor.
Oh good grief. Yes, officer, I am carrying my nerd card, it's right here, with my pocket protector.
...Also, don't worry, Parentals: I deal with you later, under the "heroes" section. Shouldn't these be the same thing?

6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Very nice Napa Cabernets, with occasionally dalliances into the champagne and/or gourmet cheese arenas.
Also, rampant abuse and mutilation of the English language. Wordiness.

7. What is your current state of mind?
Mellowed out, blissful, denial, brushed with Rutherford dust.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

9. On what occasion do you lie?
Every time a stranger asks me what I do. Elephant trainer has come up. More than once.
I need to get my shit together, Internet, before strangers start to recognize the crazy.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
When I am upset, I have a giant, Frankenstein-style vein that pops out of my forehead. It's a little grotesque, frankly.
But don't worry, my socks cover the fact that I also have 12 toes. And a tail.

11. Which living person do you most despise?
Guy Fieri. It borders upon the irrational. His pointy bleached head and abuse of the phrase "mad skills" make me apoplectic.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Humor. Exuberance.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Oh for fuck's sake; Yeah, not so much; Thanks, but no thanks.

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Oh, he knows.
Fact: Drinking makes me mushy. Apparently.

16. When and where were you happiest?
May 2003, Indianapolis
June 2007, Northern California
March 2008, Indiana (Other)

17. Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to proof-read my own writing without becoming violently ill.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I could have really used another 5 inches of height.
And a pony!

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I have not yet cried in class. Also, once I saved a life. It was wicked cool. I hope I never have to do it again.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Jack Russell Terrier.
Hrmmm...Wino (ha ha. "Come back"? Or just go on being?)

21. Where would you most like to live?
Marin County
I have no idea where this came from. I can only assume it was on TV.

22. What is your most treasured possession?
My national championship ring.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
The regretful, guilty feeling of losing someone for good.
Oh lord, red wine makes me terribly existential and a little melodramatic. Duly noted. Also credited: "The flu"

24. What is your favorite occupation?
Teaching. Sauteing things, see above.

25. What is your most marked characteristic?
Inappropriate enthusiasm.

26. What do you most value in your friends?
Humor, integrity, and the ability to take themselves not quite so seriously.

27. Who are your favorite writers?
I am currently obsessed with Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. I would tell you all about it, but I suspect you'd rather I didn't get into it.

No really. You would rather I didn't. Ask Darwin, who got an overdose of the Why Frankenstein Is the Best Book Ever But Percy Bysshe Shelley Is Kind of a Tool Box lecture. It's a doozy.

28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Oedipa Maas.
Sometimes, I am insufferable in my dedication to things like Pynchon.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

The wine wiped my ability to identify with anyone, especially anyone notable. If this is an interview question, the answer is "My grandfather...[ensuing inspirational story]"

30. Who are your heroes in real life?
My father. Good lord, am I a 6th grader?

31. What are your favorite names?
Charles, Mark, Elizabeth, Julie. My children will all be called by their last initial.

32. What is it that you most dislike?
Loud chewers. If you know me, you know this is not a facetious statement. Violently, violently angry about the loud chewers.

Almost violently beat one of the horrid little troglodytes in the lounge today. I do not want to hear you masticating!

33. What is your greatest regret?
Not just taking the freshman paper boy up on his offer to take me to prom my senior year. If I can't be cool in high school, at least I could have given someone else some social cache.

No really. It would have made him look cooler. I swear.

34. How would you like to die?
Frankly, I'd rather not.
But if it's not an option, well loved, and knowing that the people I leave behind will make it out alright.

35. What is your motto?
"Watch out for loose seal."


Virgin In The Volcano said...

Hehe, I'm scared of the pedestrians too.

All rights reserved to my snotty and generally self-deprecating writing. And if your comments bother me, I'll delete them. That's right, pumpkin.
...How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
-- Emily Dickinson