Friday, November 14, 2008

Who Needs Inauguration Tickets?

Why hello there. You want to go to the Inauguration, do you? Quick, quick! Call your representative! There must be an extra one lying around.

And while you're on hold, the Diplomat has a few words for you:


Dear Inauguration-watching hopefuls,

I know you think coming to DC to go to the inauguration will be the best thing since sliced bread, but i implore you to use your better judgment, and think again. Yes, the inauguration, will be a historic, momentous and very very exciting event. Which, amazingly can be enjoyed from your living room sofa thanks to an amazing invention called the television. In case you haven't read a weather report recently, Washington DC is a cold, wet mess in January. Thanks to global warming, January is a twisted marriage of sleet, rain, wind, ice and WIND. Lets take a step back and think about this for a second. If (and that is a BIG if) you are "lucky" enough to get a ticket to the inauguration this is what your week is going to look like:


Plane Ticket to Washington DC: $600

Shuttle from Dulles to Washington DC: $60

Hotel room- SE (If you can find one ): $250 (a night)

Hotel room-NW (if you can find one): $600 (a night)

Apartment sublet for the week (if you can't get a hotel room): $2,000-20,000 (not kidding)

Incidentals: $1,000 (assuming you're very frugal)

At minimum, you're going to spend $3,000 to sleep in a crack house, wake up at 6am, to stand in a security line longer than the great wall, to stand in a roped off area in the rain/sleet/snow waiting... waiting... waiting. Probably wont be allowed to bring in an umbrella - or water for that matter (security threat), definitely will have any lawn chairs confiscated, very few bathrooms, yadda yadda yadda.

Wouldn't you rather watch the inauguration with a nice hot irish coffee, a sticky bun, with your slippers on? I certainly would.

In other words, thanks, but no thanks.

Kisses, The Diplomat

4 comments:

Lawful Lady said...

Mmm.. makes me want an Irish coffee.

Rebecca said...

A sticky bun and hot irish coffee sounds perfect, I like your idea better.

Anonymous said...

Whatever. I am still coming!

Anonymous said...

you must be broke!!

All rights reserved to my snotty and generally self-deprecating writing. And if your comments bother me, I'll delete them. That's right, pumpkin.
...How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
-- Emily Dickinson