Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Memo #13: I think you need to rethink your diagnosis

Dear Future Anna Nicole 1L:

You really freaked me out today, with your talking about your doctors' visits. You were so flippant when your classmate complained about her difficulty staying alert. Did the good doctor actually prescribe you drugs "to make you focus" and "to keep you awake" so that "law school is easy now!"?

I hope not. However, just so we clear some things up:
1. This may not help you. You would not believe the drunks that are on law review.
2. You do not have ADHD. You have "Contracts." These are different.
3. You do not have a sleeping disorder. You have "Torts." Again: These are different.
4. Yikes. For serious?
5. I still think you're bad at law school. Just sayin'.

The rest of us are trying to keep our drug abuse down at the Tylenol PM level. Can you stop upping the ante, Barry Bonds?

Mmk thanks.


-- Nobody


Philosofya said...

I heart your blog. Esp. "You do not have ADHD. You have contracts."
I lolled all over myself.

Useless Dicta said...

OMG I haven't laughed this hard at a blog post in quite awhile. I had a similar run-in with a 1L the other day at my school, if only I had your great line "you don't have a sleeping disorder, you have torts." Brilliant.

Nickname unavailable said...

I would NOT have gotten through last year without Melatonin- so much better than T.PM- wake up without feeling groggy!!!


Lawful Lady said...

lmao! i have contracts too! it's a horrible disease.

Butterflyfish said...

I'm gonna have to ditto that --

"You do not have ADHD. You have contracts."

is one of the most brilliant lines I've seen in a blog since Mike and Russ retired Barely Legal.

All rights reserved to my snotty and generally self-deprecating writing. And if your comments bother me, I'll delete them. That's right, pumpkin.
...How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
-- Emily Dickinson