Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I Learned to Share in Kindergarten, Too.

So I'm sitting in the library, toodling away on my Evidence reading (I'm a toodler), when I notice that my lips are getting chapped. I reach over, pick up my handy-dandy Burts Bees, and take care of that problem. Good work, Nobody! You are a problem solver.*

I then return to my toodling, thinking that hey, today isn't going so badly after all, is it? Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see a movement. The gunnerific 1L boy next to me reaches out.....and uncaps my chapstick. And applies it.

Wait, what?!

Wouldn't you just look down and think: "This is a very girly chapstick. This is not my chapstick. This chapstick has lipstick on it. Abort!"? I would, and it is my chapstick. Rather than suffer a Tourettes episode in the library, I sit still for a moment, cock my head sideways (sometimes, things just make more sense sideways) and ponder my options. I'm bemused, but frankly, kind of entertained. Ha, ha! Silly chapstick-stealing 1L can't keep his head screwed on straight. I do not want it back now, it has lip germs on it.

20 minutes later, he's re-applying it. Is he trying to stake a claim? You've made your point, Chapstick Bandit! Don't piss all over my territory!

40 minutes later, he leaves. Without the chapstick. My chapstick had a chapstick fling with an unidentified 1L! Used and dropped!

2 hours later, I look for a highlighter, the better to play "good student" with. I find (you guessed it): my very own stick of Burt's Bees chapstick. In my backpack. Oops.

What I'm trying to say is: I think I have gunner cooties. And I need to learn to keep my hands to myself. And I might be this week's creepy, creepy 2L

However: If I stole your chapstick, would you reuse it? Twice? And then abandon it to the wilds of the library?

Law students are weird.

* It's the simple achievements that matter the most, isn't it?


no634 said...

That was priceless. I'm snickering in torts...

The Girl in the Third Row said...

I have to tell you that was hilarious. I just about fell off my chair reading that.

JD Maybe said...

That was so funny! I feel handicapped without my highlighters.

All rights reserved to my snotty and generally self-deprecating writing. And if your comments bother me, I'll delete them. That's right, pumpkin.
...How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
-- Emily Dickinson