Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Tuesdays are so much better than Mondays

Today I dropped my practical skills course (aka "The Grand Festival of Suckitude"). I did this, despite the potential for hours of entertainment with:

The creepy-stalkeresque 3L: Attention 1Ls (especially the ladies): DO NOT DATE LAW STUDENTS. They are crazy, usually smart, and obsessed with being in control. Look at yourself in the mirror in 3 months. You wouldn't want to date you either.
Moreover, if you notice that an upperclassmen does not have friends....they do not have friends for a reason. It is a clear sign of The Crazy.
If, like me, The Crazy finds you, seeks you out, and doesn't understand why, post computer-hacking and screaming tantrum having you can't Just Be Friends, you should run for the hills, laughing derisively and locking the deadbolt behind you.
Bad dating experiences, FYI, are are totally reasonable justification for dropping a class.

The gunnertastic 2L who begins every sentence with "In my experience": to which I say: "No, no, my little butternut squash. You do not have Experience, lovey. You have Obnoxious, which is full of vowels but not quite the same thing."

Imelda Marcos reincarnated: This is really only fun if you get to be Imelda Marcos, not if you have to watch the parade of obscenely expensive and garish clothing trot by. The woman is What Not To Wear meets Rodeo Drive

The Video Requirement: That's right kids- we get to video ourselves, then play it back in the Suck Circus for public comment and review. As I do not like the public, or their comments, this was not my cup of tea, exactly. Personal betterment is not so much my forte.

At any rate, I decided that I was full of skills, and not that practical, so I dropped the thing like a hot potato and am taking Kicking Ass and Taking Names instead. It made my day.

Other wonderful things that happened today:
1. I cornered a 1L in the locker room and assaulted her with unsolicited advice. She looked frightened, though I'm not sure if that was law school, or me, blocking all her exits.

2. Got offered a callback on my "reach" firm. Because I'm a super genius, I sent my thank you email after the callback was offered (my phone was off), and got a "Hey. Moron. Listen to your voicemail"-style email back. Hi guys! I'm really smart! I promise! Hire me!

3. Ate taquitos and watched What Not To Wear with Roommate. Glorious.

4. Found a cookie in my backpack! Bonus!

....Everything's just turning up Nobody today. Rock on.


Steven Pirates said...

Love your guidebook for 1Ls.

What about "Suit Guy".... good ol' "every day is a job interview guy". Don't be that guy either.

no634 said...

I broke my promise not to read this blawg in the law library. Hilarious post. I'm pretty sure my neighbors are sick of my snickering.

All rights reserved to my snotty and generally self-deprecating writing. And if your comments bother me, I'll delete them. That's right, pumpkin.
...How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
-- Emily Dickinson