Wednesday, April 09, 2008

May It Please the Court, because it certainly doesn't please me.

For those that are wondering, oral arguments went well.

Law prom also went well, but that's a story for another blog entry. By "well," I mean that I neither cried nor had to fake narcolepsy (at either!), so all in all, a productive evening. My legs were shaking so badly that I kicked a cord loose on my podium- I solved the trembling problem by gripping onto the thing like my ship was going down.

I apparently had "good eye contact": funny, because I don't remember looking at anyone or anything.

I do remember:

1. Scary Judge asking: "So, Counselor Nobody: clearly implication-riddled question slightly beyond the grasp of nerve-addled brain, yes, or no?"
Me responding/guessing (dear God, please let this be right): "Yes? Probably, because of made up reasons which I will now explain, as if they have some basis in reality"

2. Nice Judge asking: "Nobody: softball question. Don't you feel pretty and smart?"
Me, after befuddled, why-are-you-being-nice-to-me-pause: "Yes? Why am I answering this? Is this a trick?"

3. GrouchyPants SparkleBottom, Moot Court Partner Extraordinaire, doing quite well, but being grumbly about it anyway. I know he did well because I took notes, and the notes have smileys and check marks. I have no idea what he said, but it sounded good.

The rest of it I have blissfully blocked from my memory. Guess who won't be trying out for the Moot Court team next semester? Check. Lets get me some document review, stat!


ManintheMiddle said...

Good Job!

Someone should have told me about podium gripping before mine, after I was done my prof. complemented me on my dance moves (clearly I couldn't stand still!) The dancing wasn't even the craziest part of the whole experience.

That award goes to the judge who while hitting me with "impossible question no one (including the Supremes) knows the answer to", decided to swing over the table behind him and slam shut an open window that was annoying him, he didn't even stop talking while doing it. Somehow I was able not to (insert adjective here) and calmly answer the question with "that is and issue left to the discretion of the court based on the individual factors of the case (thank god the lower court ruled in my favor in this one)." My prof. loved that part.

All rights reserved to my snotty and generally self-deprecating writing. And if your comments bother me, I'll delete them. That's right, pumpkin.
...How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
-- Emily Dickinson