Wednesday, March 05, 2008

In Which We Change Our Life Plans to Something Easier & More Cliche

FMF: I'm perusing blogs to avoid a) planning my 8 am class or preparing the handout and b) reading the second have of Hegel's Philosophy of Right. If it's going to make me stupider--or merely make me feel that way--I want none of it, thank you


Nobody: I feel like that is an excellent life philosophy. I'm playing with google photo so that I have lots of things to remind me that there is sun somewhere, if not here.
I'm pretty sure my life plan leans toward "bed & breakfast on the coast" and away from "feeling stupid and self-loathing"

FMF: Yeah. Don't I wish....alot
...which is why I winked back at "hi--I own my own practice and got my JD at Columbia...you're beautiful" (Subtext: I am not, and a little pretentious and awkward. Will you please sleep with me and be my kept woman? I might fly you to the alps...)

Nobody: awesome. You are so good at subtext.

FMF: sigh. Why is my profile a magnet for the wealthy and socially retarded?

Nobody: Because you have what they lack, and are good looking to boot

FMF: well--I won't argue with good looking, but why does everyone assume that smart=low standards?

Nobody: Well...maybe they've met other phD's...Not to denigrate or anything. But you're for sure the hottest thing that program has seen in a loooong time.

FMF: He is seeking "polite" and "classy."
I don't think I'm really "polite"

Nobody: what a pretentious fuck
hahaha. No. I think you are diplomatic at times
Occasionally tactful, or at least strategic
but no. Not polite. 'Polite' is not a friendly term.

FMF: Am I "classy"? Can I love to say the word "fuck" and still be classy?

Nobody: Classy does not need to call herself classy. But yes, you are

FMF: oh good.

Nobody: yeah, see the thing about people who call themselves classy
(the exception being when we are exasperated and have to explain to someone why they are Not In Our League or Simply Not Up To Par So Please Fuck Off, in which case we have to speak moron)

Nobody: The thing about calling oneself 'classy.' Its like emblazoning a bag of oleo-potato chips with NOW HEART-HEALTHY

FMF: hehee

Nobody: If you really were, you wouldn't have to put it in bright orange writing.
And if you were worth having, you'd be the real thing. I mean really. No one likes a cheap substitute for classy

FMF: true. Those people are called "call girls"


0 comments:

All rights reserved to my snotty and generally self-deprecating writing. And if your comments bother me, I'll delete them. That's right, pumpkin.
...How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
-- Emily Dickinson