Monday, January 21, 2008

Beware the Coming of the Lamp: overwrought with excitement in the library

School has started again, with a vengeance, and our class schedules appear to have been specifically organized to cause the maximum damage to our psyches. Given that this is an entirely sadist career and educational choice, I shouldn’t be surprised, but consolidating a whole mess of fractured, frightened little 1Ls up next to the construction noise next door and then demanding Constitutional Law of them seems a bit much- and they’ve taken away our laptops!

This is not an environment conducive to learning, or Scrabulous.

Moreover, they’ve packed us all into a corner of the law school- apparently, we’d been mingling with the elites too much, and had to be put back into our subservient, cowering little places. While I understand the convenience to the 2Ls & 3Ls (no more 1Ls cluttering the hall!), it is probably a mixed blessing: they’ve decimated the poor scavengers’ dating pools, and now there’s a constant stench of fear and misplaced confidence emanating from the corner of the law school. The whole place needs a good washing.

At any rate, I’ve planted myself in the library, in the hopes that the time I spend there will magically improve my GPA. It may behoove me to spend less time on gtalk and blogging as well, but, being the scientific type, I am testing one variable at a time. Because of this library time, I’ve gotten to do some valuable people watching, and have even spotted the occasional research librarian.

While mulling over the Second Amendment (and, by “Second Amendment” I mean “what is for lunch”), I was interrupted in my studies by a Very Busy and Concerned Looking Person. By the translucent nature of her skin, and her floral-print attire, I knew instinctively that she was on the library staff.

She saluted us: “Excuse me, good people!”

We paused and looked up from our highlighter reorganization/E-Baying/Facebook stalking. Confused by the sudden attention, she had to begin again: “Excuse me, good people! In approximately thirty minutes, this young lady (gesturing to the floral-print 45 year old next to her) will be coming to your table!”

We smiled politely at them both.

“She will be changing the lamp (exaggerated gestures in the direction of the lamp, lest we are hearing-impaired or speak only Swahili). When she changes the lamp, she will need to unplug it.”

Help, help! The dark! Because it seemed appropriate, I expressed our willingness to leave.
“Oh, no, no. That will not be necessary. You may stay. However, in thirty minutes, this young lady will come to your table change the lamp. We just wanted you to know.”

I am now waiting with bated breath for the impending lamp change. I hear it is an experience not to be missed.

So glad our school prepares us so well for the real world.


All rights reserved to my snotty and generally self-deprecating writing. And if your comments bother me, I'll delete them. That's right, pumpkin.
...How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
-- Emily Dickinson