Monday, October 01, 2007

Memo #5: Correspondence from the Diplomat

In honor of it being Monday, and my new-week's resolutions still lurking in a hefty "To Do" pile, a guest post by The Diplomat, who is more dedicated to the blog than I:

Dear Mr. Lobbyist,

Just because the professors at whatever tier three university you attended were impressed with your polysyllabic vocabulary, does not mean that I am. Please do not delve into the far reaches of your lexicon to pull out words whose definition you are only vaguely familiar with. I do know what that word means, I do know how to use it properly, and no, for the record, you are not actually using circumlocution in an appropriate fashion. Furthermore, you are only making yourself look foolish by trying. I realize that one of your job requirements is to talk to people, and for that I am deeply sorry. However, I must implore you to take some advice from good old Mr. Twain "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Clearly you cannot follow this advice to the letter, but if you could please try to follow it in spirit I would be most appreciative.


The Diplomat

Clearly, a life of politics is not for me, as enduring such appalling bastardization of the English language might case me to flip my lid. Ten points for The Diplomat, who is nothing if not patient and restrained in the face of rampant bullshittery.


All rights reserved to my snotty and generally self-deprecating writing. And if your comments bother me, I'll delete them. That's right, pumpkin.
...How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!
-- Emily Dickinson