At least at the zoo, the monkeys get a treat.

This is a basic summary of what happens in my Statutory Interpretation class, populated mostly by gunners, assholes, idiots, and me (on any given day, I am some combination of the 3):

Child Genius: So, like, the law is ambiguous. And that's like, weird or something. What should we do?
That Kid Who Is Making The Rest of Law Review Look Bad: Tautology! Philology! I brought a thesaurus!
One of Two Reasonable People in the Room: Yes, let's explore that...wait, what are you talking about?
That Kid: Oh. Well, I will read selections from the reading out loud to you, very slowly, and see if I can make a point that sticks. Ready? Can you see it now? I will use my 'lecturing the idiots' tone in case you think that I am maybe full of crap.
The other one of Two Reasonable People in the Room: Um, but what about this perfectly reasonable point that I will point out to you?
That Kid: Well. I didn't read the case that closely. But that seems wrong.

Child Genius: Guys. I just totally noticed something. It's like, some people say "vehicle" and they mean "truck," and some people mean "car" and so language is like, ambiguous. Weird.

Bleeding Heart Liberal: But think of the people without a voice! We can't trust judges! I am having a thought, so I will shout it! I am not concerned about connecting with what is going on in class! I love the sound of my own voice! I have a feeling! And also, we don't know what laws mean. Who decides what they mean? And how?
Cold Hearted Conservative: But they don't pay taxes! Also, no, we can't trust judges! Or voters! I have a feeling, too! I will shout about my feelings so that I cannot hear your feelings! Shouting is fun! My voice is neat! Let's call each other naive and hypocritical, and see who snaps first! The law! Yeah! Who decides what it all means?

That Kid's Idiot Twin Brother: I have no need of statutory interpretation. I am inherently right. Therefore, I shall repeat my ideas loudly, and use increasingly absurd hyperbole, in order to show how right I am. In the event that you do not see my rightness immediately, I will either stare intently at you until you get it, or repeat the inane thing I said very, very slowly, so that you can see my rightness. Then I shall make quizzical and bemused faces at you until, astounded and befuddled by my contortions, you give up and come to terms with my rightness.

Child Genius: Holy Cow. Guys. I just heard. Language: it's like, ambiguous or something. I have an idea! Let's all sit around in a circle and talk about that. Because I think that somehow, somewhere, someone has not repeated this idea, and it is important that we repeat this over and over again, until its very, very clear. Unambiguous even.

Me: Holy mother of Wittgenstein, I hate all of you.


So yes, Mom, school is going great and I'm making lots of friends.

Law School Roundup # 211

The snowpocalypse is upon us (DC, I know this sucks. But seriously, guys, you have no idea), and I've rounded out my Monday with a steak and a nice bottle of wine.
So yes, there are some upsides to law school.

Without further ado, here is Law School Roundup #211:

Perspective: On upsides, and showers. (Legal Ease)

Doomed: Groundhogs. Who needs 'em? (Legally Numb)

Ugh: Further confirmation that Fed Tax is, in fact, The Worst Thing Ever (Delicious Torts)

Who moved my cheese? The law school rat race (New Kid on the Hallway)

Disheartening? The break-even salary (The Rising Jurist)

Room Service: What's that on the wall? (Tales of a Tree Hugging 2L)

Secret: ..wait for it....dary. Suit up. (i don't wear skinny jeans)

Help: For when your "hang" runs headlong into your "over" (oh hay its kk)

Juries: Watch out for the liberals (Virgin in the Volcano)

Scream: One of the best descriptions of finals I've heard in a long time (Now That I'm Awake)

Insomnia: The Scone Cure (tales of the basil queen)

Look for next week's roundup at the Legal Underground, and then back here again in 2 weeks. If you want to be added to the blog roll, but don't see yourself up there shoot me an email and we'll get you on the wall of dis-honor. Or email me anyway. Even if you're bored in class. I love emails.

Now if you'll excuse me, my glass is empty, and Alton Brown wants to treat me about truffles.

Kisses!

NB

To sum it up:

Law school is hard, and I am tired.

Tonight: Long distance drunk date with Funny Mean Friend. Wine to dull the pain of editing, for both of us. Writing (always writing).

Tomorrow: More class. More writing.


What have I gotten myself into?

Law School Roundup # 210

Law School Roundup #210 is up at Beyond the Underground.

Check back here next week, same great place and time, for Roundup #211.

Great news, guys!

"Free Tranny Cams" is following me on twitter.

The internet is alternately disgusting and hilarious.

Law School Roundup # 209

Welcome to Law School Roundup #208. Without further ado:

Brrr: Winter weather. It just figures, doesn't it? (Exhibit L)

Options: On following a different kind of dream (The Corner in the Middle)

Old Beginnings: Last first day (Legally Numb)

Citizens United: In a nutshell (The Rising Jurist)

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?: On knowing when to cut & run (Dennis Jansen)

Perspective: "Well, it could be worse" (Legally Questionable Content)

Major Hurdles: 40 page papers, and ways around them (Legal Ease)

If it Looks Like a Duck: Tips on talking like a law student (An Invisible Man's Blog)

The Real Villians: Glaring and the law school food chain. (Laughing: With or at You)

Finally, a plea, for love, humor, and blog-support: Brandy has a story. Now she and her friends are asking you to reach out, in the name of love, support, and good humor (even in dark times). Think about it. (via oh hay, its kk ("For Love, On Wednesday")).

Look for next week's roundup at the Legal Underground, and then back here again in 2 weeks. If you want to be added to the blog roll, but don't see yourself up there shoot me an email and we'll get you on the wall of dis-honor. Or email me anyway. I love emails.

Kisses!

NB

Please?

I just want to be a law professor.
And then I can write things and think things and terrorize students and force people to listen to me talk- add ice cream, Sputnik, and Darwin, and you've basically just summarized all of my Favorite Things.



Someone give me a job?

In Which I Am Behind. Again.

I just got an email from my research professor- you know, the research project that has been lurking in the background, making ominous intellectual noises at me since well before Thanksgiving.

She wants to know "what my status" is, and assures me that she is "not worried" about my ability to complete these burgeoning, 45 single-spaced paged, beast by the submission deadline we set together.

It's a good thing that one of isn't worried. I am expected to reply. I suppose that "crappity crap crap" is not the credited response.

A person should not have to go into writing hibernation this early in the semester.